Patrick Obahiagbon with his mother inlaw

Patrick Obahiagbon : Mary, your cellular gadget has intercepted some electromagnetic waves and is currently summoning your attention

Mary: What?

Patrick Obahiagbon:your phone is ringing

Mary : i am in the shower sweety, please answer it for me

Patrick Obahiagbon: hello….

CALLER: Ndandeko na Mary (NYANJA).

Patrick Obahiagbon: your lingual is foreign to my cochlea. Please utter alphabets in a universal manner so that I can derive sense from this dialogue

CALLER: where is Mary?

Patrick Obahiagbon: Mary is currently interacting with a hot shower in my master bedroom that is located at the attic section of my bungalow. She cannot commence dialogue with u as her phone is not water proof like the one I own which can receive calls even while I’m submerged in my marbled Jacuzzi.

CALLER: who is this?

Patrick Obahiagbon: do you have air-time of N100, 000 and above? Any airtime below that amount is not enough to permit me to finish explaining to u who I am via the phone as my accolades are too numerous. But to comprehend me better, visit any bookshop near you and purchase a book titled “knowing professor Obahiagbon, the individual with English PHD’s whose number exceeds the mythical lives of a cat”..I authored it when I was senator in the previous regime

CALLER: who are you to Mary?

Patrick Obahiagbon: I am the individual whom Mary surrenders to her fauna in absentia of clothing…..

CALLER: come again?

Patrick Obahiagbon: Yes I am the individual who relays copulative sensations to Mary’s pelvic areas

CALLER: say that again I I don’t understand?

Patrick Obahiagbon: I am the individual who exposes Mary’s lower limbs to mirror an obtuse angle. I’m Mary’s boyfriend, and who are u ?

CALLER: its Mary’s mother (out of card)

Patrick Obahiagbon: good morning ma, how home

Patrick Obahiagbon: hello mama I dey greet na

Patrick Obahiagbon: mama mama mama

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